I must admit that at one point in my life I naively believed that when I finally manifested my soulmate, the relationship we would create would always be free from drama and heated arguments. For years I worked on myself energetically clearing my relationship slate: heartbreaks, betrayals, cords of attachment, victimization, guilt, abandonment, rejection, etc. My intuition guided to clear all my past relationship baggage to make space for my soulmate and be able to raise my frequency so I could attract her into my life. That part worked like a charm, yet contrary to my spiritual bypass belief there was still a lot of work to be done after I began the relationship with my beloved. At first I became frustrated and went into denial thinking “this is not the way it is supposed to be…there should be no drama…I shouldn’t experience emotions like sadness or anger in my relationship.”
Obviously the more I denied this reality and the more I suppressed what I was feeling, the stronger the energy of these emotions became. Slowly I began to realize that even though I had done great amounts of work to clear my relationship slate I was still in a relationship with another person who had her own baggage, preferences, opinions and beliefs. A more profound realization was the fact that whatever negative thoughts or feelings I had in relation to my beloved were a projection of my own unresolved issues. My beloved became the clearest mirror to show me what I required to work on myself to continue in the never ending process of growing, learning and evolving.
Then it dawn upon me…these emotional and mental reactions meant that the relationship was RIGHT. I had been fooled by society to believe that when these relationship triggers occur there is something “wrong” and I should run away. Quite the opposite, the fact that my beloved was pushing my buttons, showing me my blind spots and shinning a light on my unresolved issues meant that the relationship was and IS WORKING!
The moment I accepted this as a reality an organic shift occurred. Now whatever felt uncomfortable or whatever felt like resistance became an opportunity to inquire, go within myself and energetically clear the source of it. Yet one of my favorite unexpected outcomes from my shift in perspective was that the passion between us was amplified 10 times fold. It seemed like common sense yet this fact eluded me…a healthy degree of tension and disagreement can spawn a burning passion. How could I’ve not seen this? It made perfect sense, a relationship where two partners always agree with each other and avoid conflict at all costs becomes a boring and very bland relationship, void of emotional expression.
Anger is such a powerful emotion, if you don’t get angry in your relationship or in life then there is no juice. Emotional mastery certainly doesn’t mean becoming emotionally numb, it’s absolutely depressing not to feel anything. This is exactly what I was unconsciously expecting of my beloved, for her not to feel sad nor angry, basically I wanted her to become a robot. It is evident that women have a very different way of expressing and dealing with emotions than men, our brains are simply wired differently.
Is it possible to have a relationship without arguments? Yes, a very boring and passion void relationship where you are most likely to end up as roommates instead of lovers. If you desire to experience a vibrant and passionate relationship full of life then it is imperative that you embrace whatever emotions you and your partner choose to experience. Of course there are healthy ways to express and experience emotions and there are unhealthy ways to do so, it is simply a matter of being resourceful and having tools to become emotionally fit and use our emotional intelligence so that we can channel those emotions into states of creativity, productiveness, excitement, passion and aliveness.