“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
– Malachy McCourt
When it comes to relationships everyone makes mistakes and we can hurt the other person either through our choice of words or actions. But what happens when we get hurt and we are unable to let go of the pain, let alone heal it? Holding grudges or being resent-full has a devastating effect on your relationships because what you are actually doing is energizing a thought-form with the very dense energies of pain, hurt, grudge or resentment. When you energize a thought-form it accumulates etheric mass and it’s frequency will then affect your reality. Just like when we energize fear and then that same fear is projected onto our reality, the same goes for energizing grudges and resentment. Ultimately it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy; we get hurt, hold a grudge, energize the thought-form, re-play the past event again and again in our minds, project this energy to the other person and finally the other person acts in our accordance to our energized beliefs about them.
“A life lived without forgiveness is a prison.”
― William Arthur Ward
Obviously we are not fully responsible for other people’s actions, BUT we can greatly influence other people with our thoughts and emotions. So instead of holding grudges look for ways to make amends, heal and let go of the past hurt. Then project what you truly desire from the other person by visualizing them in your mind behaving or speaking the way you would like them to. If feelings or thoughts of resentment arise, simply ask yourself “Where am I? Here. What time is it? Now.” These questions will re-mind you to be present in the now and realize that what happened in the past no longer exists, unless you re-create in your mind’s eye.
“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.”
– William H. Walton
A great way to let go of grudges is by realizing the love that emanates from your Higher Self. Think about it, in the past you have hurt yourself and maybe your Ego judged itself and now is holding anger or resentment against itself. Only the Ego keeps records of what you have done or others have “done to you”. But that is the Ego, your Higher Self doesn’t hold grudges or makes you feel guilty or shameful for what you did in the past because your Higher Self can only see your essence. No matter what you have done, your Higher Self and the One/Source/God can only hold the most brilliant version of who you are and can choose to embody here and now.
“Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth.
Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.”
– Joan Lunden
As a final note I desire to make clear one thing; we all have preferences and a higher love for ourselves. If the other person does something that is a non-negotiable for you then you can tell them “I love myself and yourself too much to stay here under these conditions and for that reason I choose to love you from another place.” and you simply complete the relationship or make the necessary adjustments. No blame, no victimization, no guilt, no grudges or resentment.